In a wild and unexpected turn of events, today my little will graduate Pre-K. They'll sing empowering songs like Katy Perry's "Roar" (What ever happened to "You are my Sunshine?"). They'll wear tiny graduation gowns. And for me, it's the first time I've experienced one of those "I can't believe this is happening" moments.
Here's why: Despite everything I personally went through, I always remained deeply present to the experience of my daughter. I haven't had one of those "I can't believe she's already ONE!" or "Time FLIES" experiences yet. Presence helps us drop out of linear time and into a deeper kind of time.
Except now she's getting on the school bus in September.
And I am pretty sure as soon as she gets on that school bus for Kindergarten, it's going to take her straight to college.
This morning, pink and white snapdragons blaze across our backyard. Deep purple pansies stretch to meet the golden morning sun that only kisses our mountain yard for a few precious moments every day. The smells of sage and thyme gently waft in the kitchen window. She is astounded by these things.
She is mesmerized by the moth on the wall, how it moves its antenna. "It likes me, mama! It's wagging its antennas!"
When the short season of little green inchworms falling from the sky is over, she weeps. "I miss them, mama! I miss those little 'inchies'".
She longs for me most of the minutes of our day together. "Eat breakfast with me?" "Play with me?" "Can we snuggle?" "Can I sleep in the big bed?"
She wonders. "How does it feel to be the sky?"
Oh, my little baby. Always wonder who it feels to be someone or something else. Always marvel when living creatures wag their proverbial tails at you. And always hold the tiniest creatures in your hands with great love.
With great love,
Your very blessed mommy