Maybe I should have known, when I couldn't get a First Day of School picture, that it might be all downhill from here.
This morning I had to perform an amazing feat of football scoop-and-hold to get my hysterical child out of the house. She'd taken off her shoes and jacket in protest, and sat in the middle of the floor, lip quivering, tears pouring down her cheeks, legs splayed out just like a 1-year-old.
"I JUST WANT STAY HOME WITH MOMMY DAAAAAYYYY"
I just wanted to scoop up that little baby girl and hold her. I want stay at home with DD day, too.
But I have a job that needs me there on time.
So I did what any rational working mom of super-human strength proportions would do: scooped her up, shoes, coat and all, threw my 20 pound work bag over my shoulder, heaved her lunch, my lunch, and my gym bag over the over shoulder, and galumphed down the 12 rickety deck stairs.
This was followed by a 25 minute ride filled with hysterics that I couldn't soothe, followed by a horrible drop off, followed by me pulling over in the deli parking lot and crying the same way I did the first day I ever dropped her off at daycare. (I cry in this parking lot a lot. I should probably go in and by a donut someday).
When I got to work and told the office manager about it, who is the proprietress of the super-fabulous hair accessories Etsy store Princess Hair Bling and therefore my hookup to super cute sparkly things, she said, "Maybe you just need to buy her something new".
Huh? "You know, something exciting and new she can bring to school and get excited about showing all her friends. A backpack or something". What would I do without friends without children? They are so much more clearheaded about parenting than I am. It was a forehead-smacking moment for me. Of course.
What resonated strongly within me about her statement was that DD's resistance might be my indicator that we need to change something. Just like my freakouts means time for a plan, maybe her freakouts mean time for a change.
Which means a very profound excursion: A trip to Target for lunchboxes and new dresses! WOOT!