Lately I'm thinking about my self-care practices. My #1 self-care practice is a huge burden to my family (well, it can be).
To function at fully optimal, I require daily time, entirely to myself. No phone, email, facebook, kid, husband, voices. It's like a coach once described to me: "You're like an energy absorber. At the end of the day you're a dirty sponge and you've just go to be alone to clean it all off".
It's the truth. A mani is nice, a pedi makes me feel feminine, which is important to me.
But time alone makes me feel vibrant, refreshed, patient, joyful, and ready to step back into my family more harmoniously. It helps me live my purpose of feeling brilliant, stimulated, engaged because I can think in a straight line for more than 10 seconds.
You can imagine that this self-care practice comes with a ton of guilt and can't always be fulfilled. It's not always realistic. My husband works full time and sometimes, I feel horrible asking him to turn around and leave the house again so I can feather my literal and figurative nest.
The result? Months go by without me asking for this critical piece of care. Sometimes, the result is cranky, nagging, yelling Mommy. But sometimes, the results are more dire: I end up sliding down the slope back towards not-so-hot mental health.
During one particularly powerful session, my coach asked me: What is is costing you not to take care of yourself?
Like many moms, I kind of hemmed and hawed. "Well, I'm cranky and don't sleep well and don't perform great at work, but that's my whole life. I can deal with it."
And then he asked: "What's it costing those around you?"
In that moment, I determined that this self-care practice isn't a luxury. It's to be fought for.
The answer to my coach's powerful question hit me right in the gut: In failing to upkeep my self-care, I'm choosing to show up as my least-best mom self, wife self, work self, and own self.
It's a slap in the face to those around me.
It doesn't just say "I don't care about myself". It says, "I don't care about you".
So I'm asking you:
What's your #1 self-care practice, the one you don't do because it's the one that takes coordination, effort, time, and overcoming guilt?
And what is it costing those around you to avoid it?