What a week! It started with an incredibly taxing Mom morning - and for many moms, one horrible morning leaves you with the sticky residue of guilt for at least the rest of the day. Throw in some professional and personal stresses, which are rare for me, and voila! The box.
What's the box? Sometimes, when the universe crowds tons of stressful events (which are only stressful because of the story I tell myself around those events) on me at one time, I say "The universe is putting me in a smaller and smaller box, until I have no choice but to bust out of it".
Without pressure, there's no sandy beaches, no diamonds, no birthing. The choices are in front of me: Dwell in the small box, the place of heavy stress, tell the story over and over, feed that pain.
Or, fight my way out with the understanding that the box has gotten too small, or I've gotten too big, or that it's basically time to flourish and there ain't no room in the box for the extra-gorgeous furls and flowers that are about to sprout out of my life.
Fighting the way out isn't always pretty. First I have to remember the choice is there and in the meantime, I tend to look like a drooling boxer punching away with no opponent. There's a lot of "BLAH BLAH BLAH and can you BELIEVE and how DARE they and victim victim conflict conflict". Then there's a lot of ugly detail rehashing. Maybe that's just tilling the soil.
Then once the dust settles, the painful unfurling often starts. This isn't pretty either. It can look like picking fights with my spouse in order to recruit him for meaningful change - or thinking that unhealthy foods will make the emotions smaller. Slowly, change settles in. I seem to suddenly posses parenting skills I didn't have yesterday. My relationship with my hunky husband suddenly expands. I step into my professional life with extra enthusiasm.
Graceless? Absolutely. It's a hideous process and I don't usually know I'm in it, until I'm out of it. But thrilling? Divine? Infinitely possible? Breathtaking.
How do you use your "stress" to your advantage?