When we wake up to the devastating reality that this life is not the one we wanted (or so we believe), that despite all the planning, education, choices, + deliberation that build the house we live in, something snaps. We come to believe, to know, that the only way to reclaim that feeling of vitality, possibility, and fulfillment is to switch lives or to make a radical change.
Visioning, dreaming, imagining the possibilities – these are critical change agents. You’ve got to know where you’re going before you decide to take steps. There is a crucial error here not in the act of daydreaming out of a situation, but in the timing. The moment of devastation – the moment we realize we don’t exist – is actually the call to hunker down. To rail, to rage, to kick and scream and bend the iron lines we’ve drawn around our lives, yes. To skulk around, to push, pull, become irrational, to take days off, to dust off the past and revisit the music and art that once terrified us and at the same time filled our souls. Yes. To look firmly into the mirror of one’s life and to say: “This isn’t everything I am”. Yes.
And do this, to look and face the truth, to rail and rage with all the passion and danger inside of us, we need safety. If, at the moment of devastation, you agree to hunker down and go through it to the expansive, thoroughbred freedom on the other side, you must be safe. You must be unable to make a mistake. You must be able to paint the entire canvas with any color you can dream up and not worry that you’ve accidentally written on the walls in permanent marker.
Safety nets sound so unsexy, un-dangerous, un-liberated and seem to be mutually exclusive with a journey in which you’re supposed to be unleashing your power, not caging it like a circus lion. I want to assure you, there will be a time and a place for external change – radical change, real change, change driven by the pure, unfettered you. Right now, you are surveying your inner landscape, presenting as it may be in shades of washed out grey, cracked and thirsty terrain, flat as far as the eye can see. This inner landscape needs to be bursting with rich topographical variants, the fed and watered life that is shaped like your own real, authentic soul. And then, when you feel the teeming life in your inner landscape, and the feeling of invisibility fades into power, solid, and real… the external landscape can be considered.